The Apathy of College Students

After the hellscape that is attending a PWI high school and dealing with white people's callousness with any minority, I expected things to be much better at Spelman. I expected a utopia of brown women with high empathy and lofty morals. I wanted to be able to say that this place is definitively better. I wish I could say that.

At Spelman, I have witnessed cruelty that is shocking. I have witnessed apathy that is disheartening. I am questioning my morals as I navigate this space because it seems like I am the only person who has my set of boundaries. Everyone has all kinds of excuses for cruelty, but no one seems ready to pass judgment. It's disappointing to say the least.

People that I thought were fundamentally good have shown me their ugly, and I am now reconsidering relationships because how can I appreciate someone as a friend and fundamentally disagree with their morals. I don't think that's possible for me. At least not now.

I am supposed to be with all these woke black women, but all I see are children afraid of going against the grain. It's sad. I feel myself beginning to be crushed by the weight of this apathy and my disappointment in my peers. We are supposed to be the young adults that will lead our country in the right direction, but I don't know that the people here can do it. And if the people here can't do it, where do we find our morality? I don't know.

It's like, without the easy evil of racism, people show their deeper moral failings. I don't know that I would take the racism over this, but these betrayals (I guess that is the word I will use for this) definitely hurt more. They chip away at my hope for people. I don't know what to do in the wake of that.